Manohar Singh Kashyap

Manohar Singh Kashyap passed away on February 16, 2019 in Meridian, ID at the age of
85. He was born on October 17, 1933 in Kapurthala, India to parents Bharpur Singh and
Kalawati Kashyap and was the sixth eldest of 12 children, 11 of them boys. He was a
loving husband, father, grandfather, brother and uncle. He is survived by his wife of 56
years, Berit Kashyap, four sons: Manoj (Heidi), Arun (Denise), Ranjiv (Angela), and
Devinder, and seven grandchildren: Conner, Miles, Drew, Blake, Emma, Natalie, and
Ryan.
Manohar was a soft spoken man of compassion, tremendous knowledge and a passion
for sports. A generous soul, Manohar strove to provide special things for his family. He
also had a strong eye for fashion and was neatly dressed, even if staying home. Respect
was a central tenet in Manohar’s life- he could hear two sides of a story and give sound
counsel without judgment. He looked for the good in people and situations and was
loved by family and friends because of his positive outlook. A privately spiritual man, he
maintained a relationship with God throughout life. In addition to being athletic
himself, Manohar loved to watch the San Francisco 49ers, San Francisco Giants, Golden
State Warriors, and professional tennis. He especially loved watching and supporting his
children and grandchildren participate in sports and other activities.
Growing up in a rural town in a large house with lots of land in Kapurthala, Manohar was
an excellent student and athlete, playing multiple sports (cricket, basketball, and tennis,
later in life were his favorites). Cricket especially captivated him and as a child he used
to listen to short wave radio broadcasts of international test matches, keeping his own
statistics of the three day long matches. As a player, he held the single game scoring
record in basketball for Punjab University while leading his team to the All India
championship. Ever the gentleman, good sportsmanship was paramount to him and is a
legacy he has passed on to his children and grandchildren.
After finishing his schooling at Punjab University, he arrived in America 1959 to join his
older brother in the San Francisco Bay Area. Manohar furthered his education at
Golden Gate University while working two jobs. Completing a double major in
Accounting and Business Management, he then found his calling in taxes. With a sharp
mind and a gift for numbers, Manohar developed a tax preparation and consulting
practice in Fremont, CA. “Kash” as he was known to clients and friends, was a
knowledgeable and trusted tax preparer and advisor. He always enjoyed the challenge
of saving his clients the most money possible and defending them against tax
authorities. Because of his ability to connect personally with clients, he developed deep
relationships with some of them lasting over 50 years! He was much more than a tax
preparer and consultant to them.
Manohar met Berit through mutual friends in San Francisco. As both were recent
immigrants (Berit is from Sweden), they had a lot in common finding their way in a new
country. True kindred spirits, they fell in love and started life together in San Francisco.
They married in August 1962, moved to Fremont, CA in September 1963 and their eldest
son was born that same month. Manohar had a knack for cooking and taught Berit to
prepare many Indian dishes. She lovingly prepared them for him through the rest of his
life. They loved to watch movies and game shows together and cherished time with
their grandchildren. While watching Bollywood movies, Manohar would translate for
Berit so she could follow the plots as well as enjoy the singing and dancing. They were
inseparable over the last 25 years of their life together and devotedly cared for each
other.
They raised their 4 sons and lived in the same house in Fremont for 40 years and after
that moved to Oakdale, CA in 2002. In 2014, Manohar and Berit moved from Oakdale to
their current residence in Star, ID. Manohar moved his tax consultancy to each location
and was active through the end of 2018. His business thrived in each location as he built
strong client bases due to his extensive tax knowledge and great client relationships.
Manohar Singh Kashyap lived his life in his own special way, staying true to his
character, caring for his immediate and extended family, making dear friends of clients,
and warming the hearts of those he got to know. He was beloved by his family and
friends and will be forever remembered and missed.
MANOHAR-THE WINNER OF HEARTS
Rajan Kashyap
As my father’s brother Uncle Manohar belonged technically to a generation senior to
mine. Manohar insisted, however that I address him simply as Manohar, and not Uncle.
“There is an age difference of less than ten years between us,” he reasoned. In India,
where we were born, there is a strict convention of showing deference and due respect
to age. In thus treating me affectionately as his brother, and not his junior, Manohar
displayed a certain disdain for orthodoxy.
Manohar was imbued with unusual qualities of head and heart. This I discovered during
the days of my early childhood. At that impressionable age, even as I hero worshipped
Manohar, I watched with awe as he continued to defy several societal norms. Manohar
and his ten brothers were all gifted sportsmen, so much so that a cricket team
consisting entirely of the Kashyaps could best the pick of all other players in Kapurthala,
the little town where we lived. Manohar was a born artist, who could effortlessly sketch
portraits of members of his family and of his own friends. I am sure that even people
who knew him closely are not aware of that artistic talent, nor of his beautiful
handwriting, which would befit a calligrapher. Stylish and aristocratic in his bearing, he
struck us with his attitude of total humility.
By nature, Manohar was laid back; he was the last one to boast of any of his immense
talents. At college in India he sailed through academic tests with seemingly no effort at
all, but drove his parents to distraction for his utter lack of application to books. True to
his iconoclasm, he was fixated on games, in contemptuous disregard for studies. He
captained the basketball team of the state (PEPSU as it was called.) I recall that (the year
was 1956 I think) while playing the national basketball championships in the capital city
of Patiala, there was a fracas involving Manohar’s brother Bhola, also a team member,
with hotheaded youngsters from some other teams. Manohar showed nerves of steel
and the coolness of ice to disarm rivals intent on physical violence. Manohar was equally
adept at cricket and badminton, a rare distinction across various sport disciplines. As a
top cricketer Manohar would impart training in technical skills, not merely to his team,
but even to players from rival teams. I remember one youngster telling me of a peculiar
method designed by Manohar to improve foot work. Manohar would nail to the cricket
pitch the toe of the boot on the back-foot of the batsman, so that the foot was firmly
grounded while making some strokes, as technique demanded.
The word Manohar in Hindi means the winner of hearts. True to the literal meaning of
his name, Manohar was uniformly popular with persons across generations. I was filled
with dismay when he unreservedly gifted some of his prize possessions, such as a watch,
clothes and playing equipment, including cricket bats and badminton racquets to boys
who could not afford them. I personally thought that the munificence was unwarranted,
considering the fact that we belonged to a middle class family, and Manohar himself
was not really rolling in wealth. He truly lived the dictum attributed to the 18th century
English writer Samuel Johnson, “The true measure of a man is how he treats those who
can do him absolutely no good.” No action of Manohar was tied to any expectation of
return from the beneficiary.
As he emigrated from India, Manohar imported into the USA the very same enriching
human qualities of perseverance and selflessness that characterized his personality as I
had viewed it in my formative years. In the year 1959 I spent two hot summer months in
Delhi with Manohar as he struggled to complete his documentation for migrating to the
United States. Here he showed uncommon doggedness in dealing with the red tape of
India and US alike. After landing in the US, true to form Manohar selected tough
technical courses in accountancy to adopt his vocation as a skilled accountant. It must
have been his determination that endeared him to capture the most valuable of all the
trophies in his life, the heart of his life partner Berit. During his stay in the US Manohar
made just one or two visits to India, the land of his birth. I myself had opportunity to
catch up with Manohar every few years, mainly in California. For me every such meeting
meant being deluged with gifts from both Manohar and Berit, for myself and my wife
Meena, and also for our two children. Every visit to the home of Manohar and likeminded
Berit was a revelation, as I saw him interact with clients, treating them as his
friends, with scant regard for pecuniary gain from his profession.
Two amazing decisions that Manohar took are testimony, one to his inborn skills as an
intuitive mathematician, and the second in regard to his personal link with the land of
his birth. Even as other accountants depended on the application of information
technology in handling complex issues concerning tax and accountancy, Manohar used
his innate mathematical predilections to succeed in the profession. Manohar might well
be the unique example of an accountant in the US who cleared all academic and
professional tests shunning elaborate IT based systems. How he managed to do so is to
me a mystery, and so too would it be to his colleagues and associates! On another
plane, Manohar would be a solitary instance of an immigrant choosing to work and
prosper in the US for sixty years without taking up US citizenship repeatedly offered to
him. Berit and their four boys are of course US citizens, but, to my knowledge, Manohar
remained an Indian citizen until the end.
Manohar was quiet and understated in his opinions. He never spoke above a hush;
rectitude, generosity and restraint, these rare qualities would have made him a role
model for his younger generation, and the beloved of all who interacted with him. In his
last few months, when he was undergoing extreme physical discomfort, whenever I
enquired about his health, he assured me in our native Punjabi language, “The Lord’s
grace is with me!” never once did he complain about his state of health; rather he bore
the burden of adversity with fortitude, and submitted to the will of the Almighty.
The life and attitude of Manohar Chacha (Uncle) as we all fondly address him as the
eldest in our large extended joint family, serves as a model that we try to emulate, and a
matter of pride for all of us, family and associates alike, who loved him. The qualities of
Manohar Kashyap that shone are best expressed in the lines of the English playwright
Shakespeare,
“His life was gentle, and the elements
So mixed in him, that nature might stand up
And say to all the world, ‘This was a man’”
Rememberances By A Younger Sibling- By General (Ret) Inderjit Kashyap
To recount my days with Manohar, an elder sibling by 8 yrs, it is distinct in 2 phases.
The 1st phase is from my kiddy days when I saw with awe, Manohar displaying his
masterly skills at the tennis courts, cricket grounds, badminton courts, billiards tables
and best of all on the Basket Ball Courts. I used to be, kind of glued, to these sports
grounds just to see him and Jatinder (Bhola), playing. It gave me and am sure others too
who were present there, equal joy and pleasure to see them gliding through their
movements. Such was the ease with which they played these sports. Manohar’s thin
physique belied the endurance that he possessed to play long durations with equal
master skills.
He was for me, a role model to follow and consciously/subconsciously I try to model my
self accordingly. He always guided me to help learn the skills specially those of Billiards
and Basket Ball. I can say with pride that my excelling in Basket Ball during my training at
the National Defense Academy and the Indian Military Academy was exclusively due to
the guidance received from Manohar. Sports apart, he ensured that he provided us,
younger siblings, the necessary protection and guidance whenever needed.
The brotherly bonding that started in those days continued later even when he went to
USA and I joined the Indian Army. I still recall the efforts I put in to get leave, whilst in
the North East of India, and to fly to Calcutta (now Kolkatta) so as to meet him, Berit,
Manoj and Arun, who were visiting India then. I couldn't think of not meeting him. This
was in 1968.
Thereafter, there was a gap of nearly 32 yrs before we met again, in Jan 2000, when on
a call from Tapeshwar Bhaji, I rushed to Fremont at 2 days notice. Reason, Manohar had
undergone a major medical issue and wanted to meet me. Traveling those days to USA
was difficult due to strictness of giving a visa by the government but it worked perfectly
for me and I reached after 2 days. Tapeshwar Bhaji and Arun were at the San Jose
Airport to receive me, took me to the physical rehabilitation facility to meet him, he
straightaway recognized me even though we were meeting after 32 yrs. The hug he
gave me, despite being on the bed is still fresh in my memory. I was there for 15 days
and ensured that we met daily so as to make the best of the short visit. On his return
home from physical rehabilitation, I still recall his efforts to walk with a walker, he had
to use this as a help after his medical issue but he never allowed the walker be a
hindrance in his life.
During the intervening period we remained in touch mostly through letters, his
handwriting was awesome and I always attempted to emulate by trying to develop his
style. His handwriting was the best in the family. So was his pencil sketching, his sketch
of our elder brother, Brij Mohan (fondly called Mohini) is a master piece.
Then we met in 2010 at Oakdale, that meeting again was special as was the one later in
2016 when we met at Star/Boise. Both occasions he received both Adarsh and me with
such warmth that we very fondly recount those days spent with both him and Berit.
Adarsh, met him and Beirt for the first ever time in 2010 at Oakdale and since then has
been swept off her feet by the love and affection she received from Manohar and Berit.
The best part of our visits to USA was the time spent at their places. He always drew
everyone to him with genuineness in the warmth he extended. During these visits, from
each of the family members in Fremont or Los Angeles, one issue was common, how
Manohar had helped everyone despite his own difficulty. It was God's special trait in
him plus his always expressing his gratitude to God whenever one enquired about his
well being and welfare.
To me, this trait stood out amongst all his other good traits and to both Adarsh and me,
we will remember him for instilling in us the habit of expressing our gratitude to God
likewise. Manohar, will always remain in our hearts as our special treasure, of whom we
will have fondest of memories.
We, pray and wish for Manohar, our loving elder, eternal peace at HIS feet and strength
and fortitude to Berit and the family to bear the immense loss.